If you're reading this, you've probably had at least one conversation with another parent about the 11+ and walked away unsure whether it's actually a good idea for your child. Maybe a friend started prep in Year 3 and you're wondering if you've already fallen behind. Maybe your child's teacher mentioned it offhand and the comment's been knocking around your head for weeks.
This post is for parents in Year 4 or early Year 5 who haven't committed to anything yet. I'll tell you what sitting the 11+ actually means in practice, what it costs, and the kinds of children it tends to suit. Then you can decide for yourself.
What you're actually signing up for
The 11+ isn't one decision. It's a chain of them. You're signing up for two years of structured preparation, a competitive exam against tens of thousands of other children, and a school choice that will shape your child's social and academic life until they're 18.
Some areas are wholly selective. Kent, Buckinghamshire and parts of Lincolnshire fit this pattern. If you live there, the 11+ is the default route into a state grammar school. Don't sit it and your child goes to the non-selective alternative, which in some places is genuinely good and in others is the school people move house to avoid.
Other areas only have a handful of grammars dotted across an otherwise non-selective system. Berkshire, Birmingham, Essex, Surrey and Gloucestershire all sit in this camp. Here the 11+ is optional, the competition is brutal, and most children who sit it don't pass. That doesn't make sitting it a bad idea. It just changes what success looks like.
The time commitment is real
Most children who pass the 11+ have done something like 12 to 18 months of consistent practice. Some have done less, some more, but assume a year of regular work as the baseline. That means roughly three to four hours a week of focused prep across English, maths, verbal reasoning and non-verbal reasoning, building up to longer timed papers in the final months.
This is time your child won't spend doing other things. Football practice gets reshuffled. Saturdays look different. The kid who loved building Lego all afternoon now spends an hour of that afternoon on a vocabulary list. Some children take this in their stride. Others resent it. You'll know which kind you've got after about two months.
The cost in your time is bigger than people admit. Even if you don't hire a tutor, you're the one printing papers, marking them, finding mistakes, working out which type of question keeps tripping them up. That's an hour or two of your week, every week, for over a year.
What it actually costs
If you do it all yourself with free or low-cost materials, you might spend £200 to £400 across the whole prep period on books and practice papers. That's the cheapest route and it works fine for plenty of families.
Add a tutor at £35 to £60 an hour for 18 months and you're looking at £3,000 to £5,000. Add an online platform subscription on top of that and the figure climbs further. Add a residential prep school for two terms, which some parents do in panic, and you can easily push past £15,000.
The honest range for a typical middle-of-the-road approach is probably £1,500 to £3,500 across the prep period. Worth knowing before you start, because the costs creep up quietly and very few platforms quote you a total upfront.
What your child gets out of it (if they pass)
Grammar schools tend to offer strong academic outcomes, stable peer groups, and often better facilities than the nearest non-selective. They also tend to have higher pressure environments, less mixed cohorts socially, and longer commutes because catchments are big.
The academic gain at GCSE and A-level is real but smaller than most parents assume. A bright child in a strong non-selective school often achieves similar results to the same child at a grammar. Where grammars genuinely add value is the peer environment. If your child is the type who thrives when surrounded by other studious kids and finds it hard to focus when the class around them doesn't care, the social setting may matter more than the curriculum on paper.
What if they don't pass?
This is the part most parents don't think through hard enough before starting. In a selective area, not passing means the non-selective school by default. In a non-selective area, they go to their normal secondary and the 11+ becomes a year-long episode you all move on from.
Around 70 to 80 per cent of children who sit the 11+ in non-selective areas don't pass. That isn't a failure rate, it's the design. Grammar places are capped, and competition runs at three or four applicants per place in popular schools. If you can't picture yourself telling your child "we tried, it wasn't right for us, and you're going to do brilliantly at your other school" without it feeling hollow, then sitting the 11+ might be more pressure than it's worth.
Signs your child might be a good fit
Honest signal first. Children who tend to pass the 11+ usually share a few traits. They're already reading widely by Year 4, often above their age level. They enjoy puzzles and problem-solving for their own sake. They can sustain focus for 40 minutes on something difficult without unravelling, and they have a competitive streak, or at least a quiet desire to do well at things.
None of that requires being a gifted prodigy. Plenty of perfectly average bright children pass the 11+ with good preparation. If your child finds reading a chore at age 9, struggles to sit still through a 20-minute task, and dissolves into tears at maths homework, though, you might be pushing uphill in a way that won't end well for either of you.
Signs to think twice
There are a few warnings worth flagging before you commit. If you're mainly considering the 11+ because everyone else in the friendship group is doing it, that's not a strong reason on its own. If you can't picture your child enjoying the kind of school environment grammar tends to create, the daily experience may matter more than the offer letter. Funding the prep shouldn't create real stress in the household, and if it would, that's a signal worth listening to. Children with significant special educational needs sometimes don't show their actual ability in the 11+ format, and that mismatch is worth thinking about honestly before you put them through it. If your local non-selective is actually quite good, you may be applying a lot of pressure for marginal gain.
None of these are veto reasons. They're just worth saying out loud before you start.
How to make the call
The single most useful thing you can do early on is take an honest baseline measurement. Not a full mock paper with a stopwatch in Year 4. Just a short, low-pressure assessment that tells you roughly where your child currently sits across English, maths and reasoning, without your hopes or fears in the way.
If they're already broadly on track, prep becomes about sharpening rather than catching up. If they're a long way off, you've got time to decide whether the gap is closable, and whether closing it is something your child actually wants too.
Should they sit it? Only you can answer that. But you'll answer it better with real data than with another late-night scroll through Mumsnet.
FAQ
At what age do you decide whether to sit the 11 plus?
Most parents seriously start the conversation in Year 4, with a decision firmed up by the end of that year or the start of Year 5. The exam itself is sat in September of Year 6 in most areas, with registration usually opening in late spring or early summer of Year 5. Earlier in Year 4 you're really just gathering information rather than committing.
Can my child sit the 11 plus if we move into the area?
In most areas, yes, but you usually need to register your child by the council deadline in Year 5. Some authorities require proof of address before the test. Buckinghamshire accepts out-of-county candidates. Kent does too, with some restrictions. Always check the specific council's admissions page rather than relying on what someone told you at the school gate.
What happens if we start prep and then change our minds?
Nothing. You stop. You haven't signed anything binding. Some families start in Year 4 with good intentions and decide by spring of Year 5 that the fit isn't right. That's a sensible decision, not a failure. The work your child has done on reading, vocabulary and reasoning still helps them at secondary school whatever route they take.
Is the 11 plus harder than it used to be?
The standard of papers hasn't shifted dramatically, but the competition has. More children sit the 11+ each year, particularly in popular areas, and more have done structured prep beforehand. That pushes the qualifying scores up. A child who would have comfortably passed 15 years ago might find it tighter today, not because they're less able, but because the field around them has tightened.
If you'd like an honest read on where your child currently stands without paying a tutor first, readyfor11.co.uk gives you a free readiness score across English, maths and reasoning in about 20 minutes. No account, no card, no follow-up emails. Sometimes the best way to make the decision is to start with the data.